Ageism in Romance Novels
It’s February, which means Valentine’s Day with all its hearts and cupids and pressure to find our happily ever after. If we believe the average romance novel, we need to find The One while we’re in our early twenties!
There’s a disconnect, though. According to the US Census Bureau, the median age of brides entering a first marriage in 2023 was 28. More relevant to my discussion, most readers of romance novels are YEARS older than the protagonists in those novels, who are most often in their early twenties. Romance readers today typically range from between 18 to 54 years, but the majority are in their mid-forties.
Heroines over thirty-five have traditionally been underrepresented in romance novels, but Later in Life Romances (sometimes known as Seasoned Romances) are becoming more prevalent and more popular. Mature romances sometimes reflect the realities of life (death of a partner, divorce, loss of job), which some readers may choose to avoid.
Life happens to us all, though, and there is value in reading about people taking chances, starting over, facing their pasts and embracing their futures. Their success encourages us.
I’ll be honest. When I wrote the first chapter of what became The House at Blackwater Pond, I had no idea that a romance with older characters was an oddity, an aberration, a taboo. I just believed my characters would be more believable if they were closer to my age.
Representation is important. Everyone deserves love.
Ageism is a social construct. How we think about aging seems to be based more on stereotypes than the average experience. While it’s true that many older folks have physical and/or mental decline, it is also true that many do not. Older adults are often more agreeable, happier, and better at regulating their emotions than many younger folks. Yes, we slow down, but I’m sure you can think of many musicians, politicians, physicians, entertainers and even athletes who are senior adults.
Many people find love later in life. Why shouldn’t romance novels reflect that?