The Wrong Side of the Bus

I recently returned home from a trip where I took a hot air balloon ride over the plains of South

Africa. As people on the other side of the balloon basket spotted wild beasts below us, beasts

I could not see, I was reminded of other tours in other countries, other bus rides, boat rides,

and plane rides, where I missed the animal sightings, the first glimpses of the Ionian Sea, the

cloud formations, the homes of important people or statues commemorating them. I heard

myself say, “I’m always on the wrong side of the bus.”

Such a selfish and self-limiting comment.

For much of life, I’ve felt out of sync with people around me, with a different understanding of

the world and different interests, preferring a walk in the woods over college football, books

over television, solitude over parties, simplicity over excess. Sometimes I was a little jealous

of how easily others seemed to find a home in any crowd.

This perceived difference sometimes prevented me from expressing opinions or joining in on

unfamiliar activities, but travel has helped me forge connections with people from all over the

world. Despite beginning this post with an experience I had in South Africa, a nation literally

divided by its apartheid policy for many years, I’m not writing about race or politics or

economic disparities, but about attitude.

As our balloon drifted nearer and nearer the plains, scraping the tree-tops as we descended, I

saw a small township with an empty schoolyard. Then I spotted a handful of people, adults

with cell phones in hand filming us and children waving delightedly. Memories came flooding

back.

I grew up on the outskirts of Atlanta in the 1960s when the airport entered the “jet age”. We

had no air conditioning, so could hear the roar of planes as they circled overhead. My sister

and I would sometimes run outside and look at those planes, waving excitedly to people we

could not see, imagining the glorious and exotic lives they surely must be living.

I don’t remember being jealous, just interested. We imagined the passengers heading off to

exotic locations rather than being on business trips. At six or seven, I already understood that

people have different opportunities and lead different lives. Some are filled with air travel,

some limited to riding a bicycle across town. Some vacation on tropical islands, others don’t

vacation at all.

Here, on the vacation of a lifetime, as I waved to the children below, my smiles mirrored

theirs, and I was filled with gratitude. Gratitude that I was able to have this lovely experience

of sailing above the earth so far away from home. Gratitude that although we were in different

places, we were sharing the experience, albeit from different perspectives.

We don’t have to be the same, but everyone should live without restrictions based on race,

creed, color, or gender.

Sadly, the apartheid system attempted to control the destiny of South Africans based on the

color of their skin. Imprisoned for 27 years of his adult life for his opposition to these policies,

Nelson Mandela could certainly, understandably, have chosen anger, bitterness, or retaliation

when he was finally freed. Instead, he recognized that holding onto hatred was a trap. In his

words, “Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful

weapon.” Under his leadership, South Africa became a strong, multiracial democracy. I hope

it will remain so.

So, I guess this post is a little political after all, but really, my point is that there shouldn’t be a

wrong side of the bus. Our experiences can be different, will be different depending on our

positions and perspectives, but we’re all moving toward the same end, so let’s accept our

fellow travelers, not make fun of them or oppress them or feel we are superior.

Just as our views from different sides of the bus are different, let’s accept that our world views

may also be different. Taking a seat on the other side of the bus occasionally can bring a

greater understanding of that fact. As Mandela said, “For to be free is not merely to cast off

one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.”

Others may get the first sighting of a herd of zebra, while we bring joy to child’s life with a

simple wave. We don’t get to have it all, see it all, no matter who we are or how much money

we make. We certainly don’t leave the bus with it all.

That balloon ride? It ended rather abruptly with the balloon snagging on a tree. Thankfully, no

one was injured, and regardless of our race, age, gender, or national origin, we were united

by our shared experience.